Picture this; Two people madly and passionately in love with each other. Dreaming of the other in absence. Time away growing the yearn for each other. Waiting for the moment to embrace again. Knowing this will be that forever feeling.
Its a bit ironic that, “the reason why men get married…” and “the reason why men don’t want get married…” both include “more” sex.
I’m not encouraging sex before marriage by any means, but would you agree with me that it happens more often than not? So “if” it is happening before marriage, I’m learning that after you make that vow, it will begin to slow down more and more over time. And if you’ve waited until marriage for sex, give it a while.
The more I listen, the more I see, the more I converse this hot topic, it seems to be the norm. A lot of women begin to lack the desire or the need for sex due to a number of different reasons:
- they don’t feel sexy (or)
- In those early stages of the relationship (dating), you would give her that look or touch to let her know how sexy she was or that she was turning you on just by her appearance. And when you gave her that look or that touch, she knew exactly what it meant. She would smile internally and externally because you made her feel good and she wanted you to know that gesture did something to her. And she wanted more.
- they’re “too” tired (just to name a couple)
- Whether she is a stay at home mom or working full time, “I’m too tired” is a reason many couples lack sex in marriage. The wife who wakes up in the morning to make breakfast, pack lunches, clean the house, make dinner and watch children all day may be pretty pooped by the time she’s ready to get some shuteye. Then you have those women who work full time and still come home to be “mom.”
This is why prayer, communication and knowing your spouse’s “Love Language” is important. Prayer keeps you hopeful, communication keeps you on the same page and knowing your spouse’s “Love Language” will keep you ahead of the game. And speaking of Love Languages, have you read the book ”5 Love Languages” by Gary Chapman? It breaks down what those 5 Love Languages are: “Words of Affirmation, Quality Time, Gifts, Acts of Service and Physical Touch.”
Now ladies, some of you would agree with me, so to the ladies who don’t, this is no shot at you, I promise. Fellas, once you figure what that “Love Language” is, it’s probably going to change… real quick. And once you find out what that next “Love Language” is, well… you get the picture.
If you notice, “sex” was not mentioned in that list of 5 Love Languages. And you know what they say about us men… Sex is the “only thing” men think about. Now I wouldn’t go that far. I mean, I hope us men are more responsible than that. We think about our cars, music, TV’s and video games too. Just kidding!! What I meant to say is, we invest in our spiritual and physical health, our families, careers, communities… there is so much more to what most husbands think about.
Intimacy is an integral part of marriage: it creates a sense of “oneness,” love. But not everyone defines intimacy the same. So it’s important to know how your spouse would define the term intimacy. What makes him/her feel loved, what makes him/her feel at “one” with you. Communicate with your spouse and pray for a healthy sex life.
Thanks for reading and I hope this blog brings a little light to the HOT topic of Truth About Sex in Marriage.